Nani

My nani passed away last Saturday. She’s my maternal grandmother. It is extremely difficult to write this post but she was a wonderful lady to talk about.

She’s one of the most strongest persons I’ve ever seen.Throughout my childhood nani was a constant source of inspiration and strength. She never believed in giving up. Never.

Stories she used to tell me, her little lessons on morals and ideologies…..she was so wonderful……I’m always going to be grateful for the time spent with her. I love her so much!! I miss her a lot. I really love her. Love her a lot.

She was our little darling. If reincarnation is true, I hope she’s born again and gets everything she ever wanted. I can imagine her as a little kid, roaming around in a floral frock. She’s free now. I’m sure she’s very happy too and is always with us.

Nani was brought up like a princess. I had heard tales from nani how her mother would beautifully play piano and aisraz, she could also read and write, which a lot of women from that era couldn’t. She specially liked reading Sanskrit literature and Shakespeare. Nani’s father was an excellent horse rider and very skilled in shooting. He too was very passionate about literature.

So nani too gave a lot of importance to education. Her name is still engraved in her college in the list of Golden Students. She had majored in History……nani is the reason I love history so much.
She also loved music with all her heart. Since childhood she was trained in classical music and drawing.
Nani was extremely skilled in both.

I still remember speeding afternoons learning and enjoying all such creative things from her.

When every door closes, one door always opens. No matter how dire the condition was, nani was always very positive and optimistic. I really learnt and believed that from her.

Finally nani and nana are together. Nana, my grandpa, had passed away 16 years ago. He used to love nani a lot. Their wedding anniversary was on July. Both of them also passed away in July. Its a comfort to know that both of them had passed away very peacefully amidst family.

She’s always with us. Our precious little sweetheart!! Our sweet darling. We all love her with our everything.

She spent the last four and half years of her life with us as she was sick and bed ridden. All these years nani was sick, her son didn’t bother to visit. Never took any responsibility. So many times nani was hospitalized, he never visited. Nani called him, wrote to him so many times…..just wanted to see him once…..he never came.

My mom had brought him up not as a brother but as a son. She also called him so many times but nothing happened.

Anyways………………….

Nani’s spirit is a very powerful and pure one. We can feel both my grandparents watching over us.

The time she got sick…..her only contact with the outside world was my Facebook. I would take the laptop to her and show her my friends, the selfies and everything that’s happening in my life. At sometime I was in initial days of college, new friends everyday. A lot of activity on Facebook. She would look at all their pictures……and then my friends would come over sometimes, she could even recognize them from their pictures. She really loved them.

During her last rites performed my mom at home, I had called some of my friends over. I really think nani is happy seeing every one.

She also asked me if I was seeing anyone. Why am I not seeing anyone. I should start seeing someone. I used to laugh. But I really thought she’ll get to see whom I get married to. She went away too early. But I’m sure she’s always with us.

She really wanted to see her son’s daughter. But he never let nani meet with his daughter. Not even once. On receiving the news of nani passing away, he brought his daughter to her dead body to pay the last respect. What is he made of??

Nani passed away very peacefully in her sleep. She loved mom more than anything. I can’t even describe how much she loved her.

My dad did for her what a lot of sons would never do for their own mothers. Dad loved and respected her with outmost honesty. Nani too trusted him more than anything. She would always look at him with so much love and belief.

My dadi (paternal grandmother) and all the paternal uncles along with their wives and kids had visited. They were a huge support. They made all of us feel so much better. It was one of the most honest reunions we’ve had in a while. They were extremely nice and supportive.

We’ve been a business family for generations. Probably for hundreds of years. So dadi was very happy to hear I’ve started my own business. I’ve also been helping with our existing business. My other cousins don’t seem to be that much interested in looking after business…….so dadi probably has a lot of expectations from me I think.

Nani too was very happy to know I’ve started my own business. Its something that runs in family…… the older relatives always get very happy when they hear about this……maybe they feel proud of the family legacy.

My nanai was mentally very strong. And my dadi is physically very strong. Touchwood. My dadi had a heart bypass surgery when she was 70+. And she has been stronger ever since. She loves going on trips with her gang oldie goldies. She has gone on another trip yesterday…and everyone in the family is worried…..I pray she returns back safely.

The house feels very empty without nani. A part of the ground floor had been converted into an unit like ICU and now that place smells of sandalwood, incandescent sticks and flowers. Its very painful. We really loved her a lot.

But she’s in a better place now. I think she herself decided to go. She’s free now. And much happier. Besides she’s always with us.

Last few months of her life nani couldn’t talk much. But she had an unique connection with mom. Mom could always understand what nani needs or is trying to say…..it was truly an amazing way of communication.
Even when nani could talk and joke with us, she used to guide mom regarding everything. Its a different kind of feeling
to have an elder above you who can guide you through their experience and intuition.

I never thought that one day I’ll make a blog post like this. Feels so unreal……can’t believe I’m actually writing this.

A soul never dies. Death is only a way of shedding off the body like clothes. After that its a wait till it can be reborn again into a new body.
This is a very strong concept in Hinduism and Buddhism. Nani used to believe in this strongly.
If this is true, I hope she’ll come back to us someday along with nana.

Bye bye
Mithai